Hands down this is the most important project of 2019. Perhaps even the most important project of the past years.
With a grey slumber it begone
2018 was not a great year. I felt lost, confused and tired. There was something in me that didn’t leave me alone and this constant unfulfillment was driving me crazy. I thought it was just busy at work, busy at home and that all I needed was a good holiday. We went on relaxing family vacations and I did feel better for a while. In the winter this grey slumber came back and I started to panic. Not much… just a bit. Just enough to seek help, to rethink, to regroup. At some point, I’ll probably write more about how that went down. For now, let’s say it has all started with a realization.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t quick or painless realization. It took me weeks if not months to admit to myself who I am. Who I really am. But the moment I could say it, if only to myself, a lot of things fell in their place. Just by admitting it, just by saying it out loud in an empty room, somehow it gained power and became true.
I am an artist
No, I can’t help it. I must make things, create things. From nothing, from something. I don’t care if anyone likes it, even though I prefer it if people actually do like what I have made. I will be making stuff even if no one ever likes them at all. Because it’s not about the product, it’s about the making.
At least for me.
The journey of self-discovery
This realization came to me in the winter of 2019. When the days were short, gray and rainy. Something snapped in me and I have changed my ways drastically. At some point, I’ll write about this as well. Probably, I have lost some friends over it. Probably I’ll gain some new on the way. As a result, when spring began I had a plan. A project in mind – project 12. 12 concept photographs to show my personal journey of self-discovery.
As every journey also this one was quite unpredictable. It has taken me places, I thought I’d never go. It has shown me that I love writing. Me! Terrible at spelling. I have decided to embrace the unknown and just write. For myself. I got so hooked up that my first short story started to evolve in front of me into something bigger than just therapeutic writing.
And so project 12 evolved from 12 images of self-discovery into 12 images and 9 chapter fantasy short story of self-discovery.
Since I’m a total newbie at this writing thing, well, I have underestimated the time needed to take this part of the project to completion. The short story will be published this way or another at a later moment. The most important part is, I have found a new channel of expression. I have discovered something totally new about myself and I’m glad about it.
The 12 images of project 12 will be published in November 2019.
Enjoy the images. Perhaps they will set you off on your own journey.